19 came so fast in my busy life of being a mother. My soul purpose is my children, they are my happiness in a world of chaos.
As I nurture and raise these two beautiful children. Him and his three words are only around when its convenient for him. I no longer mind this as I once I did, I find peace in his absence. So much peace that I ask him to leave, a strength that I never once thought I’d have.
I remember doing my very best with them, it wasnt always easy but I never once gave up. I noticed things about my daughter that made me unsure. As a young mother I didnt know what was wrong but I knew it was something. I remember reaching out for help, after weeks of observation and screening test, that was the first time I heard the word Autism. My heart ached, every emotion I could feel I felt. I was angry, questioning every choice and decision I ever made with her asking myself what I could have done to cause this. I felt sadness, because I knew it would be a hard road for her, I never wanted any hardships or struggles for my babies.
Tears fell beyond belief, but once those tears stopped, came happiness. I was happy because she was here with me, and I knew I would fight every single battle along the road with her. There were days it was so hard, I’d cry but always pick up the pieces. Shes my world and being strong is my only option.
Tantrums and screams filled my home. It truly killed me inside on the days I couldn’t even hug my own child to console her. Seeing her pain, was my pain to. I hurt for her and vowed to never ever give up. This is my fight and it will not beat me. Countless hours of therapy, I listened and watched every single lesson done with her.
Heartache is what I felt every single time she could not enjoy her self in this overwhelming world, somehow I understood her pain as I felt I’d been there to.
I always say God only gives us what we can handle, and I truly believe this. Not only have I taught my daughter but I believe shes taught me so much more.